Disappointed…

"It is not a disgrace to fail. Failing is one of the greatest arts in the world." ~Charles F. Kettering

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." ~Robert Francis Kennedy

That’s how I feel about my performance at BSLT 70.3. I went there with every intention of grabbing the Kona slot, I was excited and nervous and ready to give it my all! Everyone kept telling me how great I was going to do and by Saturday… maybe even Friday I was so sick of hearing how great my race was going to go from other people that I told a couple of my friends that “the next time I hear how great I am going to do I am going to punch that person in the face!” Great attitude, right? And I am such a hypocrite because I ALWAYS tell people, “You are going to have such a great race!!!” I just wanted to race my race and see what I could throw down. There was NO way I was going to finish this race thinking, “what if?” And you know what, I don’t have any “what ifs” after finishing. I gave the race all I had on that day and I came up short.

Here’s how the race played out…

When I arrived in Lubbock, I met up with my friend Jim who raced IM New Zealand with me. It was great to see him again and catch up… many of us who travelled to NZ with Ken Glah’s Endurance Sports Travel group have kept in touch and plan on racing together again and again.

Jim and I drove to the start of the race together and while we were driving he was Mr. Chatty Cathy. It was SUPER windy out; lightening was in the sky and who knew what the day would bring. He was talking about the wind, his race, my race, how the buildings ahead looked like where Homer Simpson works. You name it he was talking about it. I was giving him all one-word answers to questions he would ask and finally I couldn’t take it anymore so I told him I couldn’t talk anymore. I needed to reflect and get my emotions in check. Once we got to the race I grabbed my stuff and headed to transition on my own. The nice thing about being in the youngest age group is that I generally get racked with the pros. I am no threat to them so they usually chatter away to me. One of them this morning was telling me how she hated the wind, she didn’t care if it rained or was super hot, but she DID NOT like the wind and it was worse than Kona winds. I set up some of my stuff that I figured wouldn’t blow away in the next hour and went for a little stroll. Then I ran into Charisa and her husband. I had never met her in person, so that was great!!! I saw a few other friends of mine, wished them good luck and went back to my bike to figure out how I could place my stuff so it didn’t blow away (it was that windy, but I was really excited about the wind… wind doesn’t bother me one bit, heck I have been caught in dust storms on my bike and survived unscathed – this wasn’t that bad and I was hoping it would scare the other girls in my AG). When I did I saw my friend Patrick Bless arrive. He turned pro last year and when I did this race in 2007 he and I drove out and raced together. I figured maybe I would get the Kona slot again since he was here (he could be my good luck charm). You see I did this race in 2007, it was my first 70.3 and I came in 3rd in my AG. The Kona slot rolled down to me, but I was not ready for IM yet and turned it down for a Clearwater slot. I still don’t regret my decision to turn Kona down that first time.
This is turning out to be very LONG... SORRY… I will try to keep it shorter!

Swim:

My wave left 35 minutes after the men’s pro wave. We lined up on the beach and I was nervous, scared, on the verge of tears, but when they yelled, “GO!” I ran into the lake and a sense of calm took over. The first 400m were brutal, I couldn’t believe how rough these ladies were, but it didn’t phase me (this was the good part of my good, bad and ugly race). Each race I become more comfortable in the open water. My sighting gets better, my stroke becomes smoother, I don’t get rattled as easily and dare I say it… I actually kind of enjoy the swim now ☺.

Bike:

Jen and I talked about how I would ride the bike course. Usually I like to ride the bike as hard as I can, I like passing people and never looking back. I love blowing by people on the bike, especially riding up hills. But since Buffalo Springs is generally very hot and humid we decided I should take it easy, keep my HR in check, spin up the hills and not hammer so I can run off the bike. I followed Jen’s plan and I was bored out of my mind! I was still passing people, but I wasn’t happy sitting up and spinning up the hills, plus it was rainy and wet and I just wanted to get this ride over with. Around mile 20 my tire repair bottle flew out of its rear holder… oops! As soon as that happened I knew I better get through the bottle of Infinit I had on my frame and trade it out with the full one on my rear cage so I don’t lose the rest of my nutrition too. Not long after I switched my bottles, my empty bottle flew out the back and into the road – SMART me ☺ I had switched them just in time! I was also lucky that I didn’t suffer any flats!

Run:

The last 16 miles of the bike I began to dread the run. This is NOT like me; I usually look forward to the run, even with all my stomach cramping issues. Unfortunately today I just didn’t feel any spunk, but I wasn’t going to let that get me down. Once off the bike I stuck my wet socks and wet shoes on (they were out in the rain) and headed out of transition. I ran side by side with this guy for the first 4 miles and at one point he tried to talk to me, but I was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other that I couldn’t respond back. I just had nothing in my legs. I couldn’t let that get me down mentally, I was still first in my AG and second already had a Kona slot, so all I had to do was hang on to her if she tried to pass me and hopefully we could bring it in one and two together. At mile 4 she passed me and I couldn’t react. At mile 6 another girl in my AG passed me and she was running like a freakin’ gazelle – she eventually took first and Kona! At mile 10 another girl in my AG passed me! I came in 4th – no Kona for me.

The last mile I experienced something many of you I am sure have, but it was a first for me. All the sudden my right calf cramped, then my left calf, then my left quad, then my right hamstring and I had this continuous flicker of cramping through my legs. The only thing I can compare it to is twinkling Xmas lights in my legs. I was trying SOOO hard to keep myself from falling down as I made my way through the last mile, I could picture Chris Legh at Kona collapsing about 50 meters from the finish line. Although I wasn’t that bad, however when I crossed the line I was white as a ghost (at least that’s what they told me), they asked me if I wanted an IV and I will never turn down an IV so they helped me into the med tent and put me in a lawn chair and hooked me up to an IV. The kid who shoved the needle in my arm got my blood all over him, but after that race I couldn’t feel a damn thing. He could’ve poked me a hundred more times and I wouldn’t know the difference.
So much more happened during this race, but I could probably write a book and no one need’s to read that much about me.

I raced BSLT 70.3 for a few reasons, but the main one being Kona. I didn’t come home with the golden ticket and I am disappointed.

HOWEVER…

I learned MORE from this race than I ever expected. Each time I race I learn, but BSLT taught me so much, I wouldn’t trade my experience this past weekend for anything else. I LOVE this sport and I know that more than ever right now. Just like passing people on the bike fuels my fire, so does learning great lessons ☺ I will save the lesson’s I learned for another blog post.

And one last little quote that is so simple, yet means so much...

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.”

IM Canada here I come!